Deep Down

I've been thinking about why I have a hard time getting things done. What would it really be like if I could be productive and live up to the potential that I have. I don't know what the issues would be. Am I afraid to make a difference? Am I concerned about being responsible for more? Do I have issues with being productive - maybe if I am than there's more of a possibility of failing. Meaning...if I try I could fail. Hmm...something to think about. I want to figure things out so I can move forward. I don't like feeling like I'm not someone that gets much done. I've been doing it for years. I've been mostly consistent with getting the basics done. Well, I guess it depends on what one considers as the basics. Anyway. That's what I'm trying to figure out right now. I need to get to the real insights about why I do (or don't do) the things I do.

Broken Vehicle

Our family was given some remote control vehicles for Christmas. The kids tested them out today. The truck is currently recharging. The car - the charger broke off while they were attempting to plug it in (or take the plug out) earlier today. Whatever happened, it doesn't seem like it should be broken after one use. I'm thinking it was just regular use. When I found out about it - it just seems like how our lives are these days. Things just seems to get broken around here. I feel like I'm not up for all of the breaking and fixing. Ugg. Maybe I'll contact the company and see if anything can be done.

Dishwasher. Again.

Today we did another dishwasher assessment. Yep. It's true. It's not working. I mentioned that I fell over it. A couple of weeks later, a plastic lid fell down to the bottom and part of it melted on the element. I don't know if a combination of the two have affected its effectiveness - but, it's not working. The plastic glasses have a greasy film on the outside of them that makes me think the water isn't hot enough. I know it's not the water heater. Time to move forward.

Play Your Part

I have heard this before, but this time when I listened to this I just started crying. It says that 'everyone plays a part'. I don't know what my part is right now. I feel like I've been trying to figure that out for pretty much my whole life. I don't know how my Heavenly Parents expect me to use my gifts. I guess I should figure out what they are first. I would love to have some kind of life mission...the kind where I actually make a difference and help others. I don't feel like I'm doing a very good job right now.
I've been trying to figure out what to do even more so lately. I know I need to figure out something that will work for an income. But, the pieces haven't come together yet. I feel like there are things I've been prompted to do - a little at a time. But, I'm not sure it's enough. There are times when I feel like I am not enough. I'm not able to get enough done during the day. I'm not doing enough for my kids. Things like that. I'm hoping that someday I'll have the answers and feel like my contribution is enough.
This is called Glorious (from the Meet the Mormons movie) sung by David Archuleta

Dishwasher

So...this blog is mostly about the everyday stuff. I have been thinking lately about appliances. We just go a new water heater. I just realized I haven't written about that yet. So, I might write more about that later. I think our next goal will be a dishwasher. The one we have now was here when we came. I don't know how old it is. But, it's about time to retire it. It's had some issues for a little bit. I don't think it helped that I tripped over - I should say fell over it. It's been going downhill ever since. There are times I'll notice water on the top ledge of the dishwasher. I think it might be condensation from the steam that settles on it. I'm pretty sure it does that because it doesn't really seem to close tightly. It seals. Mostly. It's not like water is leaking out the sides. It just doesn't seem to have a seamless fit. Another clue is that the dishes the last few days have been a little questionable. The kids are even sending things back through because they don't seem to be clean enough the first time. I think part of that is that dishes could be rinsed off a little better. But, at the same time. Dishes that aren't completely clean when the cycle is through have been a thing. I think we're just going to take the plunge. Time to start researching.

Home Teachers

We had a Home Teaching visit today. It was great. I'm glad I asked to be assigned Home Teachers. We haven't had them for a long time. Jonny is his companion so it works out well. He's the one that gave the lesson. Thanks for coming A.S. - and thanks to your wife E. for lending you to us this afternoon. I already feel like it's going to make a difference.

Lifelong Learning

Response to a post in LDS Homeschoolers:

(I think)

We don't do official school time. I've found that unschooling is what resonates the most with me/us. The kids choose what they're going to do, when, and how. I'm here to support and help with resources. My teens currently go to seminary...M-Th, 7:am. Our younger ones are involved with a co-op right now. And one will be starting a sewing class soon. The teens also did debate this past fall. There are times we do things like what I just mentioned and there have been times when we haven't - it depends on what they're interested in and willing to commit to doing. They get what they need. I think it's more important to focus on knowing who they are and figuring out their purpose here on earth. I don't think a random amount of 'academics' each day does that for them. It's hard at first - but, if they are trusted to learn what they need to - they will.

I love that they make choices. I feel like my teens have a much better grasp on setting goals, being productive, and work ethic than they might have if they had just been sitting in class. I think those are all good skills to have for future employment. (We have had people comment about how our boys are so willing to help - they think to offer and work until the job is done when they do. Learning those kinds of life lessons can't be forced.)

I mentioned that they learn what they need to and didn't give examples. I just chuckled a little as I remembered that our boys (the teenagers at our house) made sure they had a 'Christmas Break'. They didn't have seminary for a couple of weeks. But, during the rest of the day they were still learning. They made a big deal about it and the next thing they did was watch an historical documentary. They also watched some YouTube videos that were informational. I noticed our oldest was doing math when I came into the kitchen to make dinner that night. He felt like he needed a review. He searched online, grabbed a paper and pencil, and was doing some practice problems. (This is the guy that - on his own went through a math book he found on our shelves last year - basic math, algebra, and geometry all in one. He came home from seminary and worked on math for a few minutes each day. He just felt like he needed to know how to do math - so, he did it.) During the 'break' one of them made monthly goals for the upcoming year with what he was going to work on with his art. (He's really good. It's a big thing for him. I can see it being a career option for him.) It was funny to me that those were the kind of things they were doing during their 'break'.

I also love that all of our kids have initiated conversations about learning how to learn and lifelong learning. They have all approached me about things they want to know more about, projects they think would be cool, and things that interest them. I consider those things important in their development. I've also discovered that my role is so much easier when I take the lead from them.

My husband had some issues at first. I think a big factor is that those of us who grew up going to public school have a certain way that we consider 'learning' to be. I don't know if that's what you guys 'discuss'. But, it was something we worked through. I think once he realized that the kids were reaching their potential in a different way he was more on board with it.:} There's also a workshop that someone is doing with some homeschool dads. I could try to find the info if it would be helpful for your husband to talk with some other dads that are already doing the homeschooling thing with their families.

Wow. I guess I should have just done a blog post instead. Sorry about the novel. Good luck.