Deep Down

I've been thinking about why I have a hard time getting things done. What would it really be like if I could be productive and live up to the potential that I have. I don't know what the issues would be. Am I afraid to make a difference? Am I concerned about being responsible for more? Do I have issues with being productive - maybe if I am than there's more of a possibility of failing. Meaning...if I try I could fail. Hmm...something to think about. I want to figure things out so I can move forward. I don't like feeling like I'm not someone that gets much done. I've been doing it for years. I've been mostly consistent with getting the basics done. Well, I guess it depends on what one considers as the basics. Anyway. That's what I'm trying to figure out right now. I need to get to the real insights about why I do (or don't do) the things I do.

Broken Vehicle

Our family was given some remote control vehicles for Christmas. The kids tested them out today. The truck is currently recharging. The car - the charger broke off while they were attempting to plug it in (or take the plug out) earlier today. Whatever happened, it doesn't seem like it should be broken after one use. I'm thinking it was just regular use. When I found out about it - it just seems like how our lives are these days. Things just seems to get broken around here. I feel like I'm not up for all of the breaking and fixing. Ugg. Maybe I'll contact the company and see if anything can be done.

Dishwasher. Again.

Today we did another dishwasher assessment. Yep. It's true. It's not working. I mentioned that I fell over it. A couple of weeks later, a plastic lid fell down to the bottom and part of it melted on the element. I don't know if a combination of the two have affected its effectiveness - but, it's not working. The plastic glasses have a greasy film on the outside of them that makes me think the water isn't hot enough. I know it's not the water heater. Time to move forward.

Play Your Part

I have heard this before, but this time when I listened to this I just started crying. It says that 'everyone plays a part'. I don't know what my part is right now. I feel like I've been trying to figure that out for pretty much my whole life. I don't know how my Heavenly Parents expect me to use my gifts. I guess I should figure out what they are first. I would love to have some kind of life mission...the kind where I actually make a difference and help others. I don't feel like I'm doing a very good job right now.
I've been trying to figure out what to do even more so lately. I know I need to figure out something that will work for an income. But, the pieces haven't come together yet. I feel like there are things I've been prompted to do - a little at a time. But, I'm not sure it's enough. There are times when I feel like I am not enough. I'm not able to get enough done during the day. I'm not doing enough for my kids. Things like that. I'm hoping that someday I'll have the answers and feel like my contribution is enough.
This is called Glorious (from the Meet the Mormons movie) sung by David Archuleta

Dishwasher

So...this blog is mostly about the everyday stuff. I have been thinking lately about appliances. We just go a new water heater. I just realized I haven't written about that yet. So, I might write more about that later. I think our next goal will be a dishwasher. The one we have now was here when we came. I don't know how old it is. But, it's about time to retire it. It's had some issues for a little bit. I don't think it helped that I tripped over - I should say fell over it. It's been going downhill ever since. There are times I'll notice water on the top ledge of the dishwasher. I think it might be condensation from the steam that settles on it. I'm pretty sure it does that because it doesn't really seem to close tightly. It seals. Mostly. It's not like water is leaking out the sides. It just doesn't seem to have a seamless fit. Another clue is that the dishes the last few days have been a little questionable. The kids are even sending things back through because they don't seem to be clean enough the first time. I think part of that is that dishes could be rinsed off a little better. But, at the same time. Dishes that aren't completely clean when the cycle is through have been a thing. I think we're just going to take the plunge. Time to start researching.

Home Teachers

We had a Home Teaching visit today. It was great. I'm glad I asked to be assigned Home Teachers. We haven't had them for a long time. Jonny is his companion so it works out well. He's the one that gave the lesson. Thanks for coming A.S. - and thanks to your wife E. for lending you to us this afternoon. I already feel like it's going to make a difference.

Lifelong Learning

Response to a post in LDS Homeschoolers:

(I think)

We don't do official school time. I've found that unschooling is what resonates the most with me/us. The kids choose what they're going to do, when, and how. I'm here to support and help with resources. My teens currently go to seminary...M-Th, 7:am. Our younger ones are involved with a co-op right now. And one will be starting a sewing class soon. The teens also did debate this past fall. There are times we do things like what I just mentioned and there have been times when we haven't - it depends on what they're interested in and willing to commit to doing. They get what they need. I think it's more important to focus on knowing who they are and figuring out their purpose here on earth. I don't think a random amount of 'academics' each day does that for them. It's hard at first - but, if they are trusted to learn what they need to - they will.

I love that they make choices. I feel like my teens have a much better grasp on setting goals, being productive, and work ethic than they might have if they had just been sitting in class. I think those are all good skills to have for future employment. (We have had people comment about how our boys are so willing to help - they think to offer and work until the job is done when they do. Learning those kinds of life lessons can't be forced.)

I mentioned that they learn what they need to and didn't give examples. I just chuckled a little as I remembered that our boys (the teenagers at our house) made sure they had a 'Christmas Break'. They didn't have seminary for a couple of weeks. But, during the rest of the day they were still learning. They made a big deal about it and the next thing they did was watch an historical documentary. They also watched some YouTube videos that were informational. I noticed our oldest was doing math when I came into the kitchen to make dinner that night. He felt like he needed a review. He searched online, grabbed a paper and pencil, and was doing some practice problems. (This is the guy that - on his own went through a math book he found on our shelves last year - basic math, algebra, and geometry all in one. He came home from seminary and worked on math for a few minutes each day. He just felt like he needed to know how to do math - so, he did it.) During the 'break' one of them made monthly goals for the upcoming year with what he was going to work on with his art. (He's really good. It's a big thing for him. I can see it being a career option for him.) It was funny to me that those were the kind of things they were doing during their 'break'.

I also love that all of our kids have initiated conversations about learning how to learn and lifelong learning. They have all approached me about things they want to know more about, projects they think would be cool, and things that interest them. I consider those things important in their development. I've also discovered that my role is so much easier when I take the lead from them.

My husband had some issues at first. I think a big factor is that those of us who grew up going to public school have a certain way that we consider 'learning' to be. I don't know if that's what you guys 'discuss'. But, it was something we worked through. I think once he realized that the kids were reaching their potential in a different way he was more on board with it.:} There's also a workshop that someone is doing with some homeschool dads. I could try to find the info if it would be helpful for your husband to talk with some other dads that are already doing the homeschooling thing with their families.

Wow. I guess I should have just done a blog post instead. Sorry about the novel. Good luck.

Winter Co-Op

The girls started their co-op today. They were happy and excited to share what they had been doing when I went to pick them up. I'm glad they have the opportunity. I love that they have a 'thing' each week. I'm so very grateful for everyone that has helped to put things together. I think this time around it's pretty much just Emily. Kudos to her for teaching the kids and doing it so well. I'm personally grateful she switched from a public school classroom to doing this. Yea for homeschool.
One of the things they did today was finger knitting. We'll have to try it at home.

Philosophy on Talking

The eleven year old said this during breakfast. "Talking is usually boring unless I'm the one who's doing it." We all laughed. I love eating meals with my kids. They come up with great stuff...sometimes funny...sometimes philosophical.

New Jeans

So excited! I've had issues getting pants that fit lately. As a result I've been wearing more skirts...which is fine. I actually like skirts. There are times lately that I've wondered why I didn't wear them more often before. I used to wear them quite often during the summer because they were comfortable and cooler. So...the winter version is long skirts and tall boots. Fun times. Anyway.
I broke down and purchased some pants online. They came. I tried them on. They fit. They fit really well. I was thrilled. I may or may not have done a little happy dance. I now have more than one pair of jeans. The other pair is old and doesn't go out of the house much.:} Yea for new clothes.

Better Health

I went to Costco on Saturday. I'm excited that because I was able to get a bunch of produce. I love having lots of produce. It's like a challenge to consume all of it while it's still fresh. It feels so healthy. It's like I'm actually doing something positive about taking care of my kids and my own body. It forces me to figure out ways to include them in our meal and even make them our meal. Yummy.
I really do want to be more healthy. I need to be doing more about it. At the same time - I need to make sure I mention every time I am doing something that is healthy. (Well, maybe not every time. Hopefully I do healthy stuff enough that it would be a bit much to mention it every time.) Oh. I've been better about exercising regularly too. Yea.

Today

Today we all slept in. The youngest ended up staying in her pajamas all day. Silly girl. I did some planning today and had a chance to chat with the kids a little. We listened to the Guardians of the Galaxy soundtrack while eating dinner. I love that my kids like music that I like. I'm surprised by all the old stuff they like that I'm already familiar with from the past. Tonight the oldest said that he didn't really care for some of the trendy music that's on the radio these days. I was fine with that. (I also thought it sounded like their dad.)

Body Conformity

I was thinking today about exercise and my weight. Well, mostly my weight and how to get it to stop increasing. It just seems to keep going. It doesn't seem to matter if I exercise consistently or not the number on the scale just keeps getting bigger. I've decided to exercise because of the other benefits that are apparent. I was doing yoga today and realized there are some poses that are tricky because I have to accommodate for the extra space that my body takes up in certain places. Ugg. I'm not used to that. I'm used to being able to move easier, be more flexible, and have more strength. All things to work on. I'm just going to keep trying to be healthy and eventually my body will conform.

Slow Going

It's been slow going around here for us. Well, at least for me. I feel like I haven't gotten much done the last couple of weeks. I think the holidays have had something to do with it. We haven't had quite as many things scheduled. So, I guess that meant there was more time to just relax and regroup. We'll start with more routines again this coming week. I actually have a seminar I'm going to tomorrow morning - so that will get my day started.